Next year, just dream of a silent night
24 December 2003
What memories!
You go out on the coldest night of the year and the chill starts in your toes, seeping upward until your entire body is numb.
The first year out, everyone greets you with dumbfounded surprise, holding open their doors as 30 or more voices - none on key - belt out a barely recognizable tune.
The second year, a few houses are dark, obliged, apparently, to be elsewhere on Christmas Eve.
Every year after that, more and more find reasons to be gone, until eventually you walk in vain to find someone who will answer the ringing of his or her door.
But no matter.
There are always other neighborhoods to explore, and when you do, you may find the songs below to be just the thing to bring a smile to everyone's shivering lips.
DNC IS COMING TO TOWN
(Sung to the tune of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town")
Oh, you better get out,
You better not stay,
Don't be about,
For at least 10 days:
DNC is coming to town
They'll clog all the streets,
They'll pack all the stores,
They'll buy everything,
And pay so much more.
DNC is coming to town.
We told them we had hotels
And lots of meeting space,
Now we just want to save face.
So you better get out,
You better not stay,
Don't be about,
For at least 10 days:
DNC is coming to town.
SILVER LINE
(Sung to the tune of "Silver Bells")
City sidewalks, busy sidewalks
People waiting in line.
In the air there's a feeling of such woe.
Children pointing, people asking
"What on earth is that thing?"
And on ev'ry street corner you'll hear,
Silver line, silver line
It's not the T that they promised.
Orange line, that was fine,
Now all we've got is a bus.
WHITE CHRISTMAS
(Sung to the tune of "White Christmas")
I'm fearing for a white Christmas,
The storms before just laid us low.
With streets all
a-glisten,
We'd vainly lis ten,
To hear snow plows on the go.
I'm fearing for a
white Christmas,
With every pile
such a height.
May GPS guide
them just right,
Else you won't
see a single
plow tonight.
WE COMMUTERS
(Sung to the tune of "We Three Kings")
We commuters
north and south
are
Driving cars we travel from far.
Into
Until we see blue stars.
O bridge of wonder, bridge at night,
Traffic's leading, still proceeding,
'Til the tunnel comes in sight.
DECK THE WALL
(Sung to the tune of "Deck the Halls")
Deck the wall for lots more seating,
Nomar no no more, no more Nomar.
Now it's time for A-Rodriguez,
Nomar no no more, no more Nomar
It was great except postseason,
Nomar no, Nomar no, no no no.
Lose the series there's no pleasin,'
Nomar no no more, no more Nomar
Manny, Grady and Todd Walker,
Nomar no no more, no more Nomar.
Angry owners in the locker,
Nomar no no more, no more Nomar
DO YOU HEAR WHAT WE SAY?
(Sung to the tune of "Do You Hear What I Hear?")
Said SJC to the Finneran,
"Do you hear what we say?"
Finneran to the Senate's man,
"Do you hear what they say?
It's gays, it's gays,
marry'ng who they might,
I have never had such a fright,
I have never had such a fright."
OH GEORGIE BUSH
(Sung to the tune of "O Christmas Tree" or "O Tannenbaum")
O Georgie Bush,
O Georgie Bush!
How do you
stay so popular?
Oh Georgie Bush,
O Georgie Bush,
Who ever thought you'd go so far.
No jobs, Osama and wartime,
Yet in the polls you still do climb.
O Georgie Bush,
O Georgie Bush!
How do you stay so popular?
Oh Georgie Bush,
O Georgie Bush,
The Democrats find it bizarre.
Talk back to Tom Keane at tomkeane@tomkeane.com.