2003 goofs put in the spin cycle

26 December 2003

Trying to sound clever, I wrote a glib line earlier this month about economic cycles, Newton's Second Law and "what goes up must come down."

Reader John Ruch was instantly on my case. Second Law? At best, he said, it was an example of Newton's Law of Gravitation. And worse, Ruch pointed out, the little saying I quoted isn't even an accurate summary of what Newton said.

It turns out that instead of remembering high school physics, I was quoting from "Spinning Wheel," a 1969 pop song by Blood, Sweat and Tears.

That's embarrassing. And as I review this year's columns, I find that embarrassment has plenty of company.

The Newton mistake proves I'm no physicist. In August, I proved I was no musician either, when I wrote a line about something achieving a crescendo. Wrong. A crescendo is not the peak of something but rather a gradual climb upward.

A similar mistake happened in April when I wrote about someone facing a "Hobson's choice," referring to two unattractive alternatives. Wrong again. The phrase derives from a story about a groom named Tobias Hobson who would tell customers they could have their choice of any horse in the stable as long as it was the one he gave them. In effect, Hobson's choice means there is no choice at all.

Still, these were minor. Over the year, there were whoppers that provoked plenty of invective. "You doofus," wrote one reader. Another said, "Your Boston Herald editorials are noted for their schoolboy simplicity and limited insight into their subject matter." And what was it that caused such ire?

My favorite is a January column on the Democratic presidential nomination, where I pronounced John Kerry the only "plausible" challenger to George Bush. "If you were laying odds," I wrote, "Kerry has an edge."

I'm not taking that bet any more.

The same column listed recent presidential candidates from Massachusetts and neglected the late Paul Tsongas, an omission that shocked my brother Brian, who had worked on Tsongas' 1992 campaign (and no, he was not the one who called me, "doofus").

During the springtime state budget negotiations, I wrote several times about my belief that the Legislature's large cuts were simply a device to lay the groundwork for a tax increase ("a tax hike is not only possible, but likely," I said in April). Nice theory, but it never happened.

In an October column, I described Back Bay's Boylston Street as "increasingly antiseptic," which provoked a sharp rejoinder from hotelier Jeffrey Saunders. Saunders had just finished a lavish $10 million restoration of the elegant Lenox Hotel and the results were spectacular. He was right to object to my sweeping generalization. It's too bad more people don't share his commitment to the city's beauty.

Sometimes correspondents tell me I made a mistake when I really didn't. A neighborhood activist sent me a lengthy letter (and eight attachments!) with "11 errors and omissions" in a column about Columbus Center, a proposed mixed-use project over the Mass Pike. An example of those mistakes? I called four members of an advisory group who voted against it "opponents." No, he said, they're supporters. They just "opposed the current proposal." Hmm. Sounds Orwellian to me.

Then in a piece about June's state Democratic convention, I wrote that Phil Johnston, the party's chair, has a "reputation of inserting himself into intramural battles (and) an uncanny talent for picking the losing side."

"This is a false statement," thundered Jane Lane, the party's communication director, who demanded a retraction.

No way. Indeed, the state convention was an example of my claim. Rather than giving all of the presidential candidates a chance, the party machinery closed ranks around Kerry, permitting him, and only him, to parade his supporters through the convention hall.

Still, mistakes littered my columns. I referred to the American League playoffs as the "ACLS" when it's really the "ALCS." I took at face value national Democratic Party Chair Terry McAuliffe's claim that "3 million" jobs had been lost since Bush took office. The right number was 2.7 million. In April, I lamented, "Almost no one plans to run for City Council." It turned out that 14 ended up on the ballot.

So did I get anything right?

Yes. In a June column, I bluntly said, "Good news. The recession is over." Since then, the economic data have been strikingly positive, with the Dow rising steadily to above 10,300. I was clearly ahead of the curve on this one.

Wow, you must be thinking, knowing this, he must have made a fortune putting his money into the stock market.

Actually, no. I didn't invest a dime. And that itself should be an important lesson when reading me or, indeed, any columnist.

Words are cheap.

Talk back to Tom Keane at tomkeane@tomkeane.com.